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volume 3 サンプル




音声 (MP3)録音時間:1時間40分
PDF文書 159ページ
英文単語数: 17128語


Family Jokes (家族のジョーク)32個

Relationship Joke(男女関係のジョーク)32個

Elderly Jokes (お年寄りのジョーク)39個

Religion Jokes (宗教のジョーク)32個

​音声サンプル (VOLUME 3)

00:00 / 06:23

テキストサンプル (VOLUME 3)

My mother-in-law sent me two sweaters for Christmas.
When she came for a visit, I put on one of the sweaters.
The first thing she said was, "What's the matter? Didn't you like the other one?"

mother-in-law   義理の母(ここでは夫の母親)




An old man was eating in a truck stop when three bikers walked in.

The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.

Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

truck stop   (特に長距離トラック運転手用の)ドライブイン

spit 唾を吐く

“Humph.”  「ふん」 ■軽蔑や不信等を表す音。実際は唇を閉じて出される鼻音。文章で読み上げる時はこのように発音されがち。

not much of a ~  大した~ではない  


1人目は老人に歩み寄ると、自分のタバコを老人のパイに押し付け、それからカウンターに座った。 2人目は老人に歩み寄ると、老人のミルクに唾を吐き、それからカウンターに座った。 3人目は老人に歩み寄ると、老人の皿をひっくり返し、それからカウンターに座った。



Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed, "Lord, please give me the strength to cross the river."

Poof! The Lord gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "Lord, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."

Poof! The Lord gave him a rowboat and strong arms and legs, and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "Lord, please give me the strength, the tools, and the intelligence to cross this river."

Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards upstream and walked across the bridge.

raging   激しい、荒れ狂う 

POOF!   「パッ!」 ■魔法でモノが消えたり現れたりするときの擬音。

witness 目のあたりにする、目撃する

rowboat 手漕ぎボート

capsize 転覆する

upstream 上流の







One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely and I'm sick to death of these apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a man, Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time, but he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly." "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?" "Well, you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring, so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret... You know, woman to woman."

call out to 呼びかける ■ out という前置詞で、大きな声で呼びかけたり、どこか離れた場所にいる相手に呼びかけているニュアンスが出る。

hilarious 笑いを誘う、とても面白い、笑わせてくれる

comedic 喜劇の

sick to death of~ ~がすっかり嫌になっている、~にうんざりしている

flawed creature 欠点のある(不備な)生き物

traits 特徴、特性

vain うぬぼれている、中身のない、無駄な

all in all 大体において、全体的見て

give someone a hard time 人を不快にさせる、人の手をやかせる、人をてこずらせる

be aroused   性的に興奮した

physical needs 肉体的ニーズ、肉体的欲求

witless   無分別な、愚かな

revel in~ ~を非常に喜ぶ、~にふける

properly 適切に、きちんと

ironically raised eyebrow 皮肉っぽく上げられた眉

"What's the catch?"  「何か裏があるんですよね?」■catchはスラングで「問題点、難点」。What’s the catch?は「あまりにうま過ぎる話だから、裏があるんだろう?何が狙いなんだ?」と尋ねる言い方。

arrogant and self-admiring 傲慢で自画自賛をする

woman to woman 女性同士の率直な話 ■man to man (男同士で率直に)という表現をもじったもの。




Kathy was shopping in the mall with her two children and a display in the window of a lingerie store caught her eye.

"Do you think Daddy would like this?" she asked the kids, as she pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe.

"No way," four-year-old Rian replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!"

catch one’s eye    目に留まる、注意をひく

matching robe 「マッチするローブ」。セットになったアイテムを指すことが多い。

No way. ありえない。決して~でない。





A crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!" "I am very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery, and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money." "I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

crusty 不愛想な、気難しい

this damn church このクソ教会、この忌々しい教会  ■damnを形容詞として使うと、修飾する名詞に対する怒りや不満を強調するニュアンスとなる。野卑な言葉遣いとされる。

astonished 酷く驚いた

“Listen up.” 「しっかりと聞け」

“damn it.” 「チキショー」

be tolerated 許される、大目に見られる

pastor’s study 牧師の書斎

foul language 汚い言葉遣いを

old geezer 変わり者の老人  ■geezer 一語で「老人」の意味でも使われる。

lottery 福引、ロッタリー

bitch ビッチ、クソ女

give someone a hard time 人を不快にさせる、人の手をやかせる、人をてこずらせる



After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer."

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

roll over   寝返りを打つ

at hand   手元に、手近に

inquire 尋ねる、質問する ■ask よりも、やや堅い言い方。答えを望む強さがaskよりも強いニュアンス。

snuggle up   寄り添う、体をすり寄せる

nibble away (少しずつ)かじる

bewildered まごつく、当惑する









This is a true story...

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the Police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.


vehicle 車、車両

proceed to~ (続けて)~する

scream at the top of one’s voice 声を限りに叫ぶ

somewhat   いささか、少々

load   積み込む、乗せる

it dawned on her 彼女は、はたと思いついた

sergeant 巡査部長

No charges were filed. 起訴の申し立てはされなかった。→起訴はされなかった。

SENIOR MOMENTS   お年寄り特有の度忘れ






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